Another Sunday (20th May 2007), Another Night Of Reminiscence

Late nights with Le Agent Cafard (Agent Cockroach in French.... I can see the frowns coming haha)

Anyway, how's that for title for some talk show? Genuine rip-off from that of the much much more celebrated David (Letterman) of course. just crapping around, as usual. Seems I can't effectively rid this damned habit. I can be normal for weeks only to plunge myself back into the depths of the infinite sleepless nights. Albeit like a drug addict who'll never recover, except I can't derive any satisfaction or pleasure of any sort from morphing into this creature of the night.

Onto the day events anyway. Met up with some of the guys( Euz, Foong, Sin and Billy) along with Euz's Yishun kakis for a sunday morning game of basketball. Once upon a time, a regular affair almost marked out on our calendars for certain, this routine has faded into what may be considered one of the few possible times when we can actually meetup. Probably due to the fact that age is catching up and everyone have their many commitments to fulfil. The weekend afterall is about spending quality time, a scarce commidity these days.

The game went on despite the absence of some. The usual half court 3 on 3s, 4 on 4s under the relentless toasting of Mr. Sun who was revelling in a day named after him. I tried to play hard (or so I think) , harder than most recent times, perhaps in an effort to channel my worldly frustrations through a proper and healthy outlet. Starting the game of by being extra enthusiastic with my dribble penetration to the basket which I have not done consistently these days (Last dating back to my JC years). I had a good feel for my jump shot which I have grown so accustomed to taking. I was actually having a good game. However, in a situation befitting to be a true reflection of my current fortunes outside the game, the joy was short-lived and came to a premature end.

I fell on my once crocked right knee while battling for a possibly inconsequential loose ball. I was determined to soldier on and to play out the game, almost a flashback to my playing days in school. Injury or not, I had always wanted to carry on. My mobility was affected and soon, friends now opponents on the court began to exploit me as a weak link in the team. Bad knee or not, I know I can never match up to Sin, Billy and Euz in the low post area for I have given up too much size, height and speed to them respectively on any given day, much less when I'm moving gingerly. As the game wore on, I was reduced to pretty much passenger in the game, even on the offensive end. And the rest they say is history ( I shan't go on ranting on such mundane details of a basketball game).

The bad knee reminded me much of my adolescent years. The time when I was playing basketball practically on every other day. During my college years, the love for the sport grew to such fanatical levels that I would even call it an obsession to succeed. For someone who had spent years playing and hoping for a shot at a competition, I had never managed to realise those dreams during my time in primary and secondary school. I was constantly overlooked for lacking the physical attributes and flair to be a decent baller. This hunger spurred me on to spend hours in the school gym, running in the mid-day sun in between free periods just for a chance to be selected for the college team. A chance to don a coveted jersey and to finally taste the adrenaline of a true basketball match immensed in an electrifying atmostphere.

I achieved my goal but I lost much along the way. What I gained was the sense of accomplishment from tasting the fruits of my labour and a bad knee which I neglected during in the midst of that relentless pursuit. Inevitable with our mortality, we regret and resent the choices we made in the past that lead to the short-comings and sufferings of our present. But we have never really sat back and actually gave ourselves a pat on our backs which we may deserve for the times we had actually did it right.

There's always 2 sides to a coin as with many other senarios in each of our lives. So you can either see that you're actually on death-row the day you left your mother's womb to see the first light of day. Or you may embrace it as the beginning of meaningful journey to celebrate your very own existence for no one can forbode what the future holds for us. At the end, the annals of life can either be graffiti of the many laments and regrets or a beautiful vibrant masterpiece. All depending on your very own perspective towards appreciating it. Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be, will be.....